


your tommy / your tubbo

by itisjosh



Series: onlypain [21]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Betrayal, Enemies to Friends, Exile, Friends to Enemies, Gen, Ghosts, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Moving On, Regret, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27966737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh
Summary: Wilbur looks over at him, and Tubbo's eyes go huge. He shakes his head furiously, hoping that Wilbur understands. The ghost blinks, genuine confusion shining in his eyes."I don't think he hates you, Tommy," Wilbur murmurs. "I think he misses you."
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: onlypain [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027711
Comments: 37
Kudos: 557





	1. your tommy

_"I know that you miss him," Wilbur smiles. "I don't know why you got rid of him, but I know that you miss him. So, I..I brought you a gift! It's a compass!" He hands Tubbo the compass, watching as it glows a soft purple colour. "It always points to Tommy, no matter what! So, wherever you are, you can always find him!" Wilbur beams, bouncing on his heels a little. "Do you like it? I gave him the same one, too! But it points to you instead of him! He's your Tommy, right?"_

_Tubbo is silent for a long time, and Wilbur is nervous that he messed up. "He is," Tubbo finally whispers. "He's my Tommy."_

Tubbo stares down at the compass, watching as the red hand flicks to the left. Tommy must be moving again. He keeps walking, shivering in the night breeze. He abandoned his coat back at his house, opting to come here without it. He doesn't want to get caught, though he doubts anyone would question him. Fundy and Quackity are mad at him. They're unbelievably angry with him, and Tubbo is unbelievably angry with himself. He didn't sleep at all for the first week that he exiled Tommy. He knows that he can't just take it back. He can't. Tommy is never going to forgive him for this, and Tubbo understands. 

He's convinced that he hates himself more than Tommy could ever hate him. He adjusts his weight on his feet, careful to not accidentally step on any dry leaves or twigs. He's been here, in Logstedshire, every single night. He leaves as soon as the sun starts to set, following the pathway he's worn out in the ground. Tommy set up a new bench, with a new jukebox. Every single night, he sits down on the bench and stares out at the ocean. Every single night, Tubbo stays close enough to hear the music and Tommy's voice, but not close enough to be seen. He can't risk that, he can't risk Tommy seeing him.

Tubbo smiles when he hears Mellohi playing nearby, breathing out a sigh of relief. Last time that he came here, Tommy wasn't at the bench. He was wandering around, following the compass that Wilbur had given him. Tubbo was so close to getting caught then, and he was terrified. He felt nothing but fear, and that's not _fair_. He doesn't get to be afraid when he knows that Tommy is. Tommy has more of a reason to be scared than Tubbo does. It's Tubbo's fault that he's scared, after all. He peers past the trees, staring at another figure on the bench. Wilbur. 

Wilbur visits him sometimes. Mostly in the middle of the night, when he's traveling back to New L'manberg. Wilbur doesn't know that Tubbo's been coming out here every single night, and he intends on keeping it like that. Tubbo leans against a tree, staring out at the bench. Tommy is sat there, his head resting gently on his knees. He looks less tired than he normally does, and Tubbo's thankful for that. Tommy's eyes are slightly glazed over, a touch unfocused as he stares out at the ocean. Tubbo does the same, watching the waves crash onto the beach, disappearing before coming back even stronger. 

"I miss him," Tommy murmurs, his voice nearly too low for Tubbo to catch the words. But he does, and they sting as they always do. "I can't believe he.." Tommy shakes his head, and Tubbo watches as Wilbur rubs a comforting hand on his back. "I thought he was being serious when he said that he wasn't going to exile me. Why would he lie about that?" Tubbo doesn't know. He doesn't know why he lied, he doesn't _know_. "I think he hates me."

Wilbur looks over at him, and Tubbo's eyes go huge. He shakes his head furiously, hoping that Wilbur understands. The ghost blinks, genuine confusion shining in his eyes.

"I don't think he hates you," Wilbur murmurs. "I think he misses you."

"He exiled me, Will," Tommy bitterly laughs. "How could he miss me if he's the reason I'm gone?"

"I just have a feeling," Wilbur shrugs. "You should follow your compass. Go visit him."

"I'm not allowed to." Tubbo opens his mouth to say something, anything, feeling his heart ache in his chest. But he doesn't, opting to stay silent.

"Just trust me, Tommy. Please?" Tommy slouches, and Tubbo can see him cradling the compass in his hand. Tubbo grips his a little tighter, running his fingers over the hands of it. "He's your Tubbo. I know you trust him." Tommy sits a little straighter.

"You've said that to me before."

"Was I right?"

Tubbo catches a ghost of a smile on Tommy's face. "You were."

"Well," Wilbur smiles, jerking his head to the side. Tubbo understands what he wants. What he's trying to get Tubbo to do. "I'm probably right this time then, right? And you're just exiled from New L'manberg, right? No one ever said anything about anywhere else." Tommy laughs, and Tubbo feels his heart melt in his chest. It's the first time he's heard that laugh in so, so long. He doesn't deserve to hear it and he knows it. 

"I'm still pretty sure Dream would shoot me on sight," Tommy sighs. "I don't..I might," he murmurs. "Maybe I'll go follow my compass."

"Good!" Wilbur beams, staring at Tubbo with an intensity Tubbo didn't know he had. Tubbo shakes his head. He can't. Tommy can't know that he's here, he can't. "You're his Tommy. Of course he'll let you come back." 

Tommy smiles, turning to look at him. Tubbo watches as his face scrunches up in confusion, and..oh. Tubbo practically gives himself whiplash as he whirls to be completely hidden behind the tree, pressing himself up against it. "What are you looking at?" Tommy asks. "Wilbur?"

"What? Oh, nothing," Wilbur laughs. "Sorry, I was just..staring off."

Tubbo breathes out, ducking his head. He squeezes the compass in his hand a little tighter, wishing that things weren't so complicated. He listens to Wilbur and Tommy ramble on and on about everything, though it's mostly Wilbur doing the talking. Tommy used to be so talkative. It's his fault, Tubbo thinks, it's his fault that he isn't anymore. He listens until Mellohi stops playing, he listens until Wilbur drags Tommy off to their house. He stands up, cradling his compass close to his chest. 

Tubbo starts to walk, watching as the arrow in the compass spins around, pointing behind him. 

"I know," Tubbo murmurs. "I know he's there. I know." He has to go. He has to, Tubbo knows that. He can't stay. He wants to stay so badly, but he can't. He can't. So he walks back to New L'manberg, dragging his feet the entire time. Part of him wishes that Tommy would have seen him. Part of him wishes that Wilbur would have said something. It's too late. It's always been too late. 

He makes it back to New L'manberg before the sun even starts to rise. 

At least, Tubbo thinks, he'll go back tomorrow. 

He always goes back. 


	2. your tubbo

Tommy watches as the rain falls down from the sky, sending ripples throughout the ocean as the drops land in the water. He's safe from the rain, sitting under the porch that he and Tubbo built a few months ago. He smiles softly, looking down at the compass in his hands. He spent so long without his best friend, and it's still so unbelievable that they're together again. Wilbur is sound asleep in their shared home in Logstedshire, since he can't be out in the rain. Tommy doesn't mind. As much as he used to hate it, he's started to appreciate the silence that being alone brings. He used to hate it so much, he used to _despise_ it. He always had to listen to one of his discs, he always had to have people talking. 

Now, not so much. 

Who knew that being exiled from his home would turn into a learning experience? Tommy smiles, ducking his head. His chest hurts with how happy he is, even if he feels like he shouldn't be. There are still so many things that are unresolved, but that's not important. L'manberg isn't important, not anymore. It used to be the centre of his world, the only thing that he could focus on. But now, it isn't. The only thing that really matters is Tubbo, and he can see that all-too clearly. Tommy can barely remember the early days in Logstedshire without him, and he doesn't think that he wants to remember. Afterall, if he forgot, they must have been bad. 

Dream stopped showing up. Maybe he died, maybe he was murdered. Tommy doesn't really know, he doesn't really care. He'd have liked to kill the green bastard himself, but whatever. He might not even be dead, and Tommy finds that he doesn't mind all that much. Dream doesn't have nearly as much power as he used to, not with Tubbo here by his side. Tommy hears the door creak open, turning ever so slightly.

Warm orange light spills out from his home, and he watches as Tubbo shuffles out, a gentle smile on his face. He closes the door quietly, coming to sit down next to Tommy. Neither of them say anything, but that's only because they don't have to. 

Tommy runs his thumb over his compass, watching as it spins to point next to him. He snorts, rolling his eyes. "I know he's here," he says the words loud enough for Tubbo to hear them. "Is your compass going batshit crazy over the fact that we're sat next to each other?" Tubbo grins, pulling his compass out of his shirt. It's been put on a necklace, and Tommy wonders if he should have done something similar.

He sees a thin strip of paper behind the glass, barely managing to make out the words _Your Tommy_ on them. His chest hurts for a second, but in the good way. His compass has the same thing, but it's _Your Tubbo_ , rather than _Your Tommy_. 

"Of course it is," Tubbo laughs, holding it out in the palm of his hand. "It always goes crazy whenever we're together. It stops working." Even as he says that, the compass arrow is firmly pointed towards him. Tommy smiles, staring out at the ocean. 

"Do we really need them anymore?" He asks. "The compasses, I mean. We're back together, so.." Tommy shrugs, watching as the rain falls a little slower, slowly dying out. "Maybe we don't need them. We already know where the other person is, right?" 

Tubbo looks at him, following his gaze to the ocean. "You want to send them off to sea?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. "What if we get separated?"

"We don't have to," Tommy assures him, holding up his hands. "It was just a suggestion. Since, you know. We're here together and all that." 

"And all that," Tubbo agrees, softly. "I..wouldn't mind," he admits, standing up. He reaches up, taking his necklace off. He clutches his compass in his hand, looking out towards the ocean. "They'll be together forever. We should put them in a bottle, so they don't get separated. So they're always pointing to each other." Tommy smiles at the sentiment. 

"Nah," he reaches out, taking Tubbo's necklace from him. He slips his own compass onto the string, watching as the arrows swing with each other. "There. They're together now," Tommy hands him the necklace back, and Tubbo grins down at him, offering a hand. Tommy takes it, pulling himself up. "We don't have do if you don't want to. If you're nervous or whatever, I'll keep mine, and you can keep yours." 

Tubbo smiles. "I think it's a nice end, don't you? We're together now, so we don't need them anymore. It's sentimental. It's special. I like the idea," he assures him. "Let's send them to sea."

They walk together along the beach, leaving bare footsteps behind as they go. The rain stops pouring as much as it had, turning into a light sprinkle rather than an onslaught. Tommy watches as the sun slowly starts to raise, barely poking out from behind the ocean. Tubbo crouches down in the water, and Tommy watches as the waves hit his legs, receding a moment later. "Well," Tommy clears his throat. "It's been a long time coming."

"It has," Tubbo agrees. "Well.." he reaches out, setting the compasses on the shore. The waves wash up, grabbing the necklace with them. Tommy watches as they float away, disappearing as they go farther and father out. Tubbo breathes out, and Tommy does the same, not even realising that he had been holding his breath. "They're together forever."

"Just like us," Tommy looks down at him, beaming. "Just like us." 

Tubbo grins up at him. "Just like us. You're my Tommy, right? Nothing can separate us."

"And you're my Tubbo," Tommy offers him a hand, helping his friend stand. "We're a package deal. Can't have one without the other."

"No, you can't," Tubbo agrees. "It's good. To be here, to be with you. To be..free, I guess." Tommy smiles, shifting his weight to his other leg. 

"Here's to being free," he grins. "Here's to us!"

"Here's to us!" Tubbo laughs, sounding free and..happy. 

Tommy is happy, too.

They stand out in the rain for far, far too long, laughing and teasing each other over the stupidest things, and Tommy doesn't remember a time where he was happier. 

The both of them are finally free, after everything. 

_(somewhere, on a beach far away, two compasses wash up on shore together. they never separate.)_


End file.
